How use EFT with our clients in session

1. Assessment & Identifying Negative Cycles

The therapist begins by assessing the couple's relationship dynamics, understanding the recurring patterns of interaction that contribute to emotional distress. This often involves identifying negative cycles where one partner's emotional needs trigger a defensive or withdrawing response in the other, creating a cycle of disconnection. The goal is to understand how these patterns prevent the couple from connecting emotionally.

2. Creating a Safe Emotional Space

Once the negative cycles are identified, the therapist helps the couple create a safe space to express vulnerable emotions without fear of criticism or rejection. This involves fostering empathy between partners and encouraging them to share their deeper, more vulnerable feelings (such as fear, hurt, or insecurity), rather than reactive emotions (like anger or frustration). The therapist provides support to help each partner feel heard and understood.

3. Changing Interaction Patterns

The therapist guides the couple in using new communication tools to respond to each other's emotional needs. This step often involves helping each partner express their emotions more directly and effectively, while also teaching them to listen with empathy. Partners learn to respond to each other’s vulnerabilities in ways that build trust and emotional safety, breaking the old negative cycles and replacing them with more supportive, loving interactions.

4. Re-engaging and Rebuilding Attachment

With new communication tools in place, the couple works on re-establishing a secure emotional bond. This involves reinforcing attachment behaviors, such as offering comfort and support, expressing love and appreciation, and meeting each other’s emotional needs in a consistent way. The therapist helps the couple develop a deeper emotional connection, strengthening the foundation of their relationship.

5. Consolidation & Moving Forward

In the final stage, the therapist helps the couple consolidate the progress they've made. They discuss how to maintain their improved relationship dynamics moving forward, integrating new skills and understandings into their everyday life. The therapist also helps the couple develop strategies for dealing with future conflicts in a healthy, constructive way, ensuring that they can continue to grow emotionally together.

These steps focus on deepening emotional bonds, reducing conflict, and improving intimacy by addressing the underlying emotional needs of both partners.